The Chav - Ja know wha a mea?

I've come across some strange things during my time overseas but none more so than the discovery of a creature peculiar to these parts.

Most people over here call them Chavs: strange vermin like creatures that speak such an ugly form of English that, once heard, the listener is compelled to leap of a cliff.

Spot a Chav

Without fail Chavs wear a uniform of white Rebock shoes, tracksuit pants, big brand shirts, truckloads of cheap jewellery and a healthy portion of gel in their bleached hair, all topped with the baseball cap.

This clip should give you some idea of what I'm talking about.



When trying to find the Australian version of a Chav the closest thing I could come up with was a Bogan.

But Bogans, with their flannelette shirts, mullet haircuts, big cars (driven down the main street of Australian country towns every Saturday night with heavy metal music blearing), pale in comparison to the plagues of Chavs that seem to be taking over England.


This is a Bogan (though he doesn't have a mullet):




I wonder what would happen if they ever met. I imagine it would be a bit like meeting your mirror image from a parallel universe. Perhaps a strange fascination at first, quickly followed by a viscous battle of attrition, where one was eliminated or both cancelled each other out.

Wouldn't that be nice!